Twisted Tails
by Jodeh
Summary: All I wanted was a pet. A cute, loyal pet that could keep me company. Is that really too much to ask for? Somewhere along the line, this wish got twisted around and now? This is definitely not what I asked for.


**Totally jumping in the Akatsuki animal band wagon. Why? Because it looks like so much fun! I hope you guys like this, the real fun begins soon! Please Review?**

* * *

It was mid-morning on a soon to be sunny afternoon. At the moment, only one of two residents of the home were present. Her name was Dee. She was 18 and had just started college, being lucky enough to move in with her highschool friend until she could get her own place.

Dee was a fairly chubby blonde. Despite her thickness, she was actually pretty damn athletic. Her hair was currently french braided to keep it out of her way. Her eyes were a dark green and she had freckles sprinkled across her shoulders and face.

Around the usual time, the other resident of the house arrived home for work. Her name was Ara, and she was the older of the two being 20. Her dark brown hair was parted down the middle and in tight curls that were streaked with blue, as she preferred to wear it natural. She was short, barely reaching 5'5 and skinny. She had tanned skin and gray eyes that sparked with excitement.

"Ayyyye!" Ara squealed with glee as she waved a check in the air. Dee, looked up from her magazine.

"What's got you so pumped?" Dee asked.

"I got a bonus!" Ara did a little dance. "Do you know what this fucking means?!"

"I can live here for free?"

Ara stopped dancing and gave her friend a little pout. She put her hands on her hips and rolled her neck.

"HELL no." She paused again before doing a little spin. "We can get a pet!"

"A pet?" Dee can't help but look a little astonished. "Well you'll be glad to hear that I know where we can get a cat or two."

"Really? Where?"

* * *

Jonas shook his head in amazement. He pushed his red hair out his eyes, making a mental note to cut it. He thought of himself as too old to keep his hair long. He already went through that phase.

Now he was an adult. With his toned body, above average height and 'amazing' personality, he was prepared for anything! ...except for this. He did not expect to find a bunch of strange looking cats in a box outside his apartment. That was pretty unexpected.

He was actually kind of relieved when he heard that some of his friends were looking for pets. Jonas would've felt really guilty if he had to make the kitties remain homeless. It would've been nearly impossible to pick just one.

"People really suck sometimes..." He muttered, reaching into the box to stroke a completely black cat.

"Except for meeee!" Ara called out, barging in like she owned the place. "You should really start locking your door, you never know who's lurking around these days."

"Yeah totally, come in. Thanks for knocking." Jonas rolled his eyes.

"Unlocked is like, the universal sign for 'come in and cut my hands and feet off'."

"No, no it isn't."

Dee gives a small wave to Jonas as she comes in. She locks the door behind her. The three of them make idle chit chat before one of the cats mew softly.

**Akatsuki's P.O.V**

"OH SWEET JESUS, THAT WAS CUTE AS DICKS!" A female's voice squealed as Kisame mewed in confusion.

"So that's still apart of your vocabulary..." A male voice sighed.

The entire crew felt groggy and tired, not feeling all the noise being made. It didn't take long for them to realize that something was very, very wrong.

_'What the fuck?! Why am I a Jashin damn cat?!" _Hidan hissed, bolting to his feet. He looked at Deidara next to him. _"Why the fuck are you a cat? What the fuck?!'_

_'Sempai, you look so cute!'_ Tobi bats Deidara's face.

"Oh good, they're awake." The guy voice finally said.

"Were they not awake when you brought them?" A slightly more airy voice asks.

"I was hoping they were heavy sleepers."

"...so what you're saying is that there was a chance these cats were dead and you still offered them up." There was smacking sound. "You butthole!"

'_What's going on?'_ Kakuzu glared, his tail puffing up with annoyance.

'_Where are we...?'_ Konan peeked over the edge of the box.

_'Well, we're all cats in **some idiots house** and I think they plan to adopt us.' _Zetsu commented.

_'Everyone be quiet and calm down.'_ Pein quickly got everyone's attention. '_Panicking isn't going to solve anything.'_

Konan slowly lowered herself down. _'There are two women and a man, they seem distracted... And pretty harmless.'_

Itachi stayed where he was, tail swishing back and forth. To put it bluntly, he was not in the mood for this bullshit.

_'Shit, one's coming, hm!'_ Deidara unknowingly unsheathes his claws.

"So what I was thinking." The curly haired one looked into the box. "Is that we each pick two, which makes a total of four cats off your hands."

"I'd appreciate that. Are you sure you can handle that many animals though?" The man says.

"JONAS. I am an ADULT. I can handle some cats!" She huffs. "Besides, I just inherited a house from my grandparents. I can literally have as many animals as I can, however, you can't."

Jonas takes a deep breath and lets it out as the girl eyes each of the cats. "Speaking of your grandparents, how are you feeling?"

"Fine, I guess. I dunno." The girl shrugs. "It's whatever, I have cats now."

"Ara..."

"I'm really fine."

The one named Ara picked up Tobi and observed him. She made a soft squeak of approval before setting him down again. Then, the blonde picked up Sasori and put him in Jonas' face.

"Hey look, it's a kitty-you," She joked. "He's even got the whole 'I'm so done' look."

Sasori is placed back down, and he instinctively goes to smooth down his fur. He gives a look to the blonde girl.

"Uh-Huh." The Jonas one replies, unamused. "Better pick out your cats now before the others show up."

"Oh, right!" Ara 'hmm-ed' as she tapped her chin. She picked up Pein. "I want this one, it has no soul."

"...Yeah, actually you go ahead and take that one. It's probably evil," Jonas stroked on of the blue ones. "Along with whoever dyed these cats blue."

Pein innerly grimaced. He didn't like being held, and he definitely didn't want to go anywhere with this... 'Adult'. He scratched her arm, but she simply put him inside the cat carrier.

"Who decides to just dye their cats?" The blonde on muttered. Her eyes widened and she scooped Kakuzu up in her arms. "Oh you poor baby! Who could do this to a cat!" She took note of all the stitches on him.

"Dee, oh my god." Ara shook her head. "Of course you go for the fucked up cat. This is why we don't have nice things."

"They're free! You worry about your own cat choices, jeez." Dee grumbled, holding Kakuzu protectively.

"What's wrong with it's eyes?"

"Oh, shut up." Dee gently set him in a separate cat carrier.

_'Im not going anywhere with those bitches!'_ Hidan hissed as Ara reached for him. She quickly retracted her hand.

_'They'll probably just kill you if they don't find a home for you.'_ Konan pointed out. _'Thats usually how it works.'_

'_I can't die, bitch.'_

'_Then you'll be homeless in some unknown place.'_

"That one looks pissed." Ara points at Itachi. "Dee, don't pick that one. It'll murder us in our sleep."

"I wasn't going to..." Dee lied. She instead picked up Tobi. "I want this one. He looks adorable, I mean look at his face."

Tobi mewed excitedly at the compliment.

Ara shrugged. "Doesn't seem like any of these are fixed... That'll be a problem pretty soon."

Ara eventually decided on Zetsu. She held him up in the air. "Aaayyyye! This ones pretty big, it can be our guard cat."

"I'd like to see how that ends." Jonas commented with a snort.

"Two-Face, attack!" Ara shoved Zetsu in Jonas' face.

Zestu just yawned. _'**This is stupid.** It could be fun.'_

"No? Okay, we'll have to work on that," Ara frowned.

"Thanks for the cats, Jonas!" Dee called back as they left. "We gotta get together for a play date soon!"

_'Hopefully soon...'_ Pein got as comfortable as possible inside his shared carrier.

* * *

It wasn't too long before Daisy, the girl next door(more like down the hall), showed up. Daisy's hair was black and cut into a short bob. She wore purple glasses and was close to Jonas' height. She had just turned 24 a few days ago and decided that she'd get herself a cat as a late present.

She knocks on the door and waits patiently for Jonas to answer. The second it opens, she makes a beeline for the box of kittens.

"I thought you said there were 10?" She questioned.

"Ara and Dee came here before you."

"Oh... I bet they took all the good cats."

Jonas just shrugged. They sat in silence as Daisy picked out a cat. Jonas checked his phone awkwardly, before going to answer the door. Jay was just walking up.

Jay was an average height with black, wavy hair that went down to her butt. She had a mole on her cheek and brown eyes. She saw Daisy and had to hold back a groan.

"Oh genial, la flor está aquí." Jay looked at Jonas pointedly. "Ambos están polinizando o algo?"

_[Translation: Oh great, the flower's here. You guys pollinating or something?"]_

"Por favor, ser amable." Jonas muttered.

_[Please be nice.]_

"I'll try." Jay rolls her eyes, her Spanish accent still heavy. "Hola, Daisy."

"Can you please speak English?" Daisy raises her eyebrow.

"..." Jay throws Jonas a look. "Hi. Daisy."

"You here about the cats too?" She smiled.

"Yeah, I've always wanted a pet. Hopefully 'dese aren't too fucked up." Jay feigned interest in the conversation. "'Ey Jonas, dis one looks like you." She picked up a red cat.

"Dee said the same thing. I was hoping she was just being weird." Jonas sighs.

"Why do you still talk to her?" Daisy clicked her tongue, earning an unseen glare from Jay. "She's so... Strange. Her and her roommate."

"Well, we've been friends for a long time. I can handle a little weirdness."

"I'm taking that black one too." Jay quickly said, putting her chosen cats into a basket. "An' Jason, dis is for you."

Jay hands him a DVD with the cover replaced with black construction paper. She winked.

"Open it 'vhen you are alone." She laughed as she went on her way. "Gracias!"

"See ya." Jonas waved. Silence returned and Daisy looked annoyed.

"What movie is that?" She asked, picking up a blonde cat.

"Oh nothing." Jonas shrugged. "Nothing you're interested in."

Daisy narrowed her eyes in mild suspicion. She shook her head and changed the subject. "You've got a weird taste in friends."

Jonas didn't reply. Daisy decided on the blonde kitty and the silver one. She thought they looked cute together and would totally match the color scheme of her house.

"Thanks for the cats!" Daisy smiled shyly.

"Oh, uh... No problem!" Jonas smiled back.

He checked the box to see the two remaining cats, both blue. He booped the boy on the nose and said. "I guess I'll name you Blue. Like the cheese." He then picked up the girl. "And you can be... Ivy. Yeah."


End file.
